Saturday, October 31, 2009

Here & Now (An Imagining)

Well, they finally figured out how to install energy expanders on the Hoover Dam. Now, all the way out in Ohio, we can get our power from that giant concrete machine.
Yep, Colombus, Ohio, powered the Hoover Dam.
Named after J. Edgar Hoover? Well, the Central Intelligence Agency is no more. It's all run by the English. Something about proper diction in court trials or something, we're not sure. But they're gone, zip, zang, boom.

But everything's way to organized. We've gotta park in these spaces, within millimeters of our neighbor, and then it zooms down into the ground, while we just stay there in that momentary threshold of space, and then the ground closes up beneath us, quicker than you can say Jimminy Christmas, and there you are, falling to the ground on your bottom.
After you do it a few times, you can extend your legs to the standing position while your car is leaving your seat at supersonic speeds. Some say they stand up on the future ground, while they're still in their car, beating the parking system, but that's all mythology and psychedelic drugs. Don't believe it.

But it's all magnets and robotics. And huge underground storage spaces. All those storage space company/dynasties paid off for those guys, they make fortunes in that underground parking. Off course that threw off Ford's solar-powered car campaign, but who drives Fords anymore anyway?

The other big change are the kitchens. Resteraunts rent out small branches into your house, powered by nanobots. But pay close attention to the big "FOOD READY" and "FOOD NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT READY" indicators, they had to enlarge them. One of the first prototypes caused the death of a middle-aged New Yorker. He grabbed is Whopper before the nanobots where done cooking it, and they just followed their programming, and cooked him. Inside out.
The doctors thought he had a fever for the first three hours.


What else? We've got a Chinese colony on Mars. Apparently the population control is not in effect there, so that's where they all go.
Understandably, the did not anywhere New Tiananmen Square.
But NASA is making huge steps. After the administration of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, we poured a bunch of money into the Space Agenda, because some telescope maker in sweden claimed he saw large
elephant-shaped creature on the Moon. It turned out that it was a shadow puppets on the International Space Station.
But we got up there again, and said, "Hey, it's pretty cool up here. Why'd we give it up for so long?" And made the commitment. And for punishment, we stuck that Swede up in a conservatory on Europa.


And finally, the reality TV genre is long extinct, thank God, and we all for watch the news channel if we get tired of fictional shows.

Finally, some one with a lot of money knows what they're doing.

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